11-20-07: What would you do?

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What would you say?

The preliminary court hearing for the young man who broadsided me riding my bicycle was last Tuesday... exactly seven weeks after the incident. "A preliminary hearing is best described as a 'trial before the trial' at which the judge decides, not whether the defendant is 'guilty"'or 'not guilty,' but whether there is enough evidence to force the defendant to stand trial." Most preliminary hearings are very quick with the judge deciding on many of them in a short period of time... Peggy was in attendance. The district attorney has asked for more time to receive and review my medical records. Consequently, another preliminary hearing has been set for December 19.

But before Peggy knew it, the defendant, along with his wife/girlfriend (not as much an issue these days) and a small infant, covered from view in a carrier, had left the courtroom. So Peggy left too, in time to see the couple disappear down a corner staircase. After a short trot down the hallway, Peggy was able to confront them midway down the stairs.

"Excuse me, Mr. _____, I am the wife of the man you hit."

With the young woman doing most of the talking, the couple was quick to apologize for the accident.

With what appeared to be genuine concern, they asked how I was doing... they thought I had sustained only a broken leg... and wanted to see me but did not know where I was. Peggy enlightened the couple as to the full extent of my injuries, as well as where I have been staying. More apologies...

"But you left him," Peggy said emphatically... the accusation she's wanted to make to him since the accident.

Mr. _____ said, "But I came back."

More apologies... a parting of ways.

What would you do? What would you say?

Later that day, Peggy and I had lunch together and she told me of events that morning. Like Mr. _____, I had not known much about the other player in this fateful accident. From the initial police report I knew his name, the car type and year, and the fact that he was driving with a suspended driver's license and had no car insurance.

And that after stopping briefly, he had gotten out and looked at me contorted and bleeding profusely on the street, then got back in and drove away, with new dents on the hood and top of the car and no windshield where there had been one before... He did come back, however, after I had been taken away in the ambulance AND had been identified by others who had stopped and stayed. He had also brought back a woman, presumably the same woman with him at the preliminary hearing. Because the police were still there, Mr. _____ was arrested and taken away.

Apparently, she was important to him... important enough to leave me?

Within minutes after Peggy left the Vintage Faire Rehabilitation "Resort", I received some visitors. I knew immediately who the woman and the man holding a baby carrier standing in the doorway were.

"Come in; have a seat," I said plainly from my wheel chair.

They sat down on two available chairs next to my hospital bed. Mr. _____ set the baby carrier gently on the floor next to him. She did not waste any time expressing their sorrow and concern over my misfortunes that he had caused, and how they had met my wife and had just found out about the extent of my injuries. I looked at him and he sat forward with hands clasped and echoed his wife/girlfriend's words with what appeared to be genuine feeling, adding that the sun had gotten in his eyes.

What could I say? The encounter was sudden, personal, emotionally and psychologically overwhelming. Unasked questions and accusations came to mind like, "What was so important that you had to be driving when you shouldn't have been? Why did you leave?" and stayed in my mind.

I asked about the baby. He lifted up the carrier and pulled back some blankets to reveal a very small infant boy... that I'm sure was younger than seven weeks. "Was she pregnant when the accident happened." I thought. Smiling, Mr. _____ told me his son's name with the pride and affection of a new father.

The visit was not much longer than five minutes. After a brief silence, she looked at me and then him and suggested that they should leave. I reached out with my good left hand. Confused for a moment, he reached out his right. The grip was awkward but firm as I caught his eye, and briefly searched for some clue as to who this person really was. Was he responsible with his life? With hers? What kind of attitude did he have about people who are different from him, about people who had more or less than him, about someone who may have accidentally caused pain to him or someone close to him and had sought forgiveness? Did he intend to nurture, to give proper and informed direction, and to sacrifice his own ambitions if necessary to make sure that his son had every opportunity to be whatever he aspires to be?

"We'll be back soon to visit again," she said as she turned at the doorway. With many unanswered questions and words unsaid in my head, I watched them walk down the hallway between the workers and the wheelchairs. He was careful not to jostle the baby carrier. They did not hold hands. I have not seen them since.

What would you do? What would you say?

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And on another note...

Last Friday, I went home with Peggy and Fiona, the yay or nay person in charge of discharge from VFRC, to prove that I could successfully climb steps with one leg and some crutches, and that I could sit and and stand up from a bed, a toilet, and my favorite chair. So I am going home today, exactly eight weeks after my accident, to begin the next phase...